We Are Not Your Sacrificial Lambs
Today, many of us exhaled a sigh of relief — one we’ve been holding for almost one year now. As many awaited to see if Derek Chauvin would be convicted on any of the murder or manslaughter counts, Black Americans were also waiting to see if our humanity would be recognized by a verdict of “guilty”. The fact that we all watched a video of Derek Chauvin murdering George Floyd in broad daylight and were still uncertain a guilty verdict would be returned is an indictment of the whole system. Hell, even Derek Chauvin was noticeably surprised he was being held accountable for his actions.
Have you ever had your humanity put on trial? Our dehumanization does not just manifest in being referred to as animals or medical professionals believing we don’t perceive pain. Our dehumanization is demonstrated through seamless justification of our abhorrent murders by civilians and law enforcement which rarely result in charges. If they are charged, they are rarely convicted. If they are convicted, they are usually given a measly slap on the wrist — all of which diminish the value, the importance, the legitimacy of our lives.
We watch on as our character is put on trial in the court of public opinion more so than the perpetrator that brutally assaulted or murdered us. People who harm animals are more demonized than people who harm Black people.
I will not deny that today is one of historical significance, but today is not one of justice. George Floyd did not get justice today. Black Americans did not get justice today. Justice would be George Floyd still being alive. Justice would be the absence of Black and brown people being murdered by the police in the first place. Justice is not having a trial for a murder we all watched on camera and still being uncertain of whether a guilty verdict would be returned. Justice is not retraumatizing witnesses and family members for a small chance of achieving accountability. Justice is not Derek Chauvin looking noticeably surprised he was convicted of murder and manslaughter. Justice is not assassinating George Floyd’s character to defend the indefensible.
After the verdict, as Black people celebrated a rare relief from an often unforgiving justice system, I saw allies and politicians mischaracterize the moment with statements delivered from their place of privilege. In the midst of their celebration, it felt that it was lost on them just how low the bar is — to have a law enforcement officer convicted of a murder he committed on camera in broad daylight. Many offered words to capture the essence of the moment. Many of the words were powerful, representative, and hopeful. Many were not.
In her speech, Nancy Pelosi spoke about George Floyd’s sacrifice to advance racial justice and accountability for law enforcement. The mayor of Minneapolis said that “George Floyd’s life will have bettered our city.” Even in death, we cannot escape the expectation of servitude to white people and the sense of entitlement to our bodies. Everything we do must be to serve others at the expense of ourselves. George Floyd is not a martyr. He did not sacrifice himself for racial justice. To sacrifice yourself, you willingly make the choice to do so. As George Floyd cried out for his mama and called out “I can’t breathe” 28 times, he did not have choice in the matter.
We are tired of people in our communities being killed and brutalized, only to become the next hashtag and political talking point. We are tired of white people blindly heralding our murdered community members as heroes, thinking they are doing what’s right and honoring their memory. We don’t need more heroes or sacrifices, we need change. We need law enforcement and racist civilians to stop brutalizing and killing us.
Slavery did not end. We are still expected to serve others who feel entitled to our bodies while we are still under the constant threat of brutalization and murder. While others celebrate and party for the deliverance of the bare minimum, I can exhale the breath I have held since last May. I can feel some tension leave my muscles and slightly less butterflies in my stomach — but I still cry. I cry because George Floyd should still be alive today. I cry because we rarely see accountability. I cry because we should not be this excited for the bare minimum, nor should our humanity need to be confirmed by a court verdict. I cry because so many of our families have not gotten this for their loved ones.
While others celebrate ‘justice’, we see accountability — accountability that should have been there all along. Justice will prevail when we no longer have to worry about being brutalized or murdered by law enforcement or racist civilians. Justice will prevail when white people no longer feel entitled to our bodies or hold an expectation of our servitude. Justice will prevail when white people recognize that our deaths are not something for them to make ‘heroic’ or give ‘meaning’ to. We are not your sacrificial lambs.
Rest in Power, George Perry Floyd.
